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By
Dan Duggan
on
April 12th, 2012
In Part I of Struggle is Unnecessary, we learned that the struggle comes from denying what upsets us by pretending it’s not that bad and ignoring the physical, emotional, and mental cues that signal we need to pay attention.
How are you doing in noticing your cues ?
For some people it’s the pain in the neck, stiffness in the shoulders, queasy stomach, or ache in the heart. For others, the most noticeable cue is the anger, fear, or sadness they feel, or the monkey mind that spins and spins resisting the event or thought that triggered their upset.
Continue to notice and, I recommend, write down your cues for a few weeks so your awareness increases. Once you are aware that this upset needs your attention, you are ready to do something about it.
So here’s Part II
Accept fully that you are where you are. Allow yourself to experience the physical pain and especially the uncomfortable emotions that accompany what upset you. I’m not asking you to wallow in the “bad place”, rather stay in it long enough to really feel the impact. Once there, trace back through those emotions to the source of the upset – the thought or event that triggered your reaction.
What bugs you about it? Why is it upsetting? Declare the problem with what happened.
Many people stop at this step and try to fix themselves or someone else they see as the “Problem”. Stopping here to “fix” won’t transform your relationship to the problem and get you back in balance.
Instead – keep going. …continue reading “Struggle is Unnecessary Part II”
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